


Masks

by McLen



Category: Die Ärzte
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-17 01:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1368166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McLen/pseuds/McLen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Farin is good at shutting people out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Masks

At first it was a handy feature, a useful skill, an advance in tricky situations. A helpful tool nothing more. Then he learnt how to use it, how to live it and it became something more, a shield, a protective wall, a fort. But he still used it as a defense, skilled but not harmful, cool but not heartless.   
  
He didn’t know when his shield became a weapon, he didn’t know when he lost control and it took control over him instead. It’s not just a bad habit he can’t quit, it became him, his way of living, his way of being and he can’t quit that.   
  
‘You’re so cold Jan,’ Bela says and he doesn’t have a clue.   
  
‘When did you become so cold?’  
  
He just shakes his head and pulls a quick joke, there is no emotion in his eyes, nor in his face. Every inch of feeling eliminated long ago.   
  
‘At least. . .’ Bela tries again, stepping closer and giving his arm a tentative squeeze, ‘at least in front of me. . . You can let your guard down, Jan, please. . . at least in here, when it’s just the two of us.’  
  
Bela’s eyes are locking with his own, searching for something which is long lost.  
  
Minutes pass and Bela doesn’t give in, Jan doesn’t expect him to.   
  
‘Let me in?’ he asks again, with that puppy dog’s eyes look of his and strangely enough Jan starts to feel something stirring deep down inside him. It’s distant and faint but it’s undoubtingly there, pulling at his rational mind. He pushes it away quickly and makes sure that his voice is steady when he replies, ‘You’re in already, Felse, I’m afraid that’s the only house I possess. –Oh you’re not meaning the flat.. . ha ha, I get it. You want to be inside of me? All you had to do was ask.’ He laughs and winks at him dirtily. Bela doesn’t buy it, but then he never expected he would.  
  
‘You git- I don’t mean- You perfectly know I don’t mean it like that. Quit acting. Just stop.’  
  
Bela sounds angry and Jan can’t help but laugh. It’s his first instinct, it’s almost as easy as breathing. He steps closer, so close that he’s in his personal space, so close they are only inches apart, so close he can practically smell him. It’s the right move, because it makes Bela uncomfortable, this aggressive closeness does. Bela flinches, his whole body seems tense and alarmed, and Jan can see that Bela wants to get out that his body wants to shift away. Jan smiles like an eagle knowing his prey and he is merciless even with Bela. He lowers his head and gives Bela a small peck on his cheeks, and as expected Bela winces and turns red. Jan moves his lips up to his ears and whispers:  
  
‘If you wanna be inside of me, all you have to do is ask. . .’   
  
He is almost surprised how husky he could make his voice sound, but the mean has the desired reaction and Bela jerks away, and Jan grins. Bela almost stumbles backwards, and when he stops he grabs the kitchen chair for support. Everyone else would probably just look pathetic but Bela- if anything he looks determined. Jan’s grin fades and he feels strangely worried.  
  
‘Good move, you manipulative son of a bitch.’ Bela says, sounding a bit out of breath, ‘Very good move. . . Playing with my feelings and all. . . ruthless and cruel- but brilliant.’ His lips turn into a smile, ‘But I’m still not backing down, you know. Not that easy anyway. There’s no way I’ll stop. I’ll continue trying.’  
  
Jan nods, ‘I hope so,’ he lies.  
  
‘You don’t,’ Bela answers.


End file.
